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Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club
LATEST NEWS
DATES FOR 2008 CHAMPIONSHIP ANNOUNCED
The
stableford qualifying event for the 20th Spring Match Play
Championship will be held on Sunday, October 12.
The match
play rounds begin the following month on Sunday, November 9,
and conclude with the Championship Match on Sunday, November
23.
LATEST NEWS
BACK TO BACK MAJORS FOR KIPPER
Kipper Parnevik, the reigning
Spring Match Play Champion, added the World Series title to his
bulging golf portfolio.
The win, his second at the week
long event, sees him move to the head of handicaps at plus 6 for
2009.
Cavey Pavin
continued his recent good World Series form going one better
than his third placing last year.
Peard Fulke
capped a consistent week with 3rd place.
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ABOUT US
The golf and euchre
fraternity traces its origins to the guilds and craftsmen who built
golf courses in medieval Europe, where members devised secret
methods of recognition, including the use of strange and
occasionally amusing nicknames.
Members believe the
club provides a code for building character based on the application
of spiritual, ethical and moral standards to the games of golf and
euchre. Belief in a Supreme Being (Right Bower or Handicapper) is a
prerequisite for membership, though all faiths are accepted.
The Club was
established in 1812 and still meets at the Earlwood Hotel Grand
Lodge on Homer Street. Inside the public bar exists a hierarchical
world of nicknames and secret handshakes, where raised glasses
denote seniority, and where Worshipful Masters, Grand Wizards and
King Poobahs administer Club business.
Long cloaked in
ancient all-male rituals practised in strict tournament secrecy
"north of the Hawkesbury", the movement is seeking to introduce new
blood in a bid to halt a decline in their aging membership. Change
has never come easily to the Club, but new recruits are no longer
required to just remove their trousers during initiation
ceremonies. Initiates must now also remove their underwear and bare
their chests to prove they are not women.
The Earlwoodians
like to say they are not a secret club, only a club with secrets.
To improve their image, the doors to one of their most elaborate,
and hitherto, one of the most secret ceremonies - the issuing of
tournament handicaps by Tubby, the Grand Wizard of Figures and
Bovine Culture - is being thrown open to the public. "People see us
as being far more secretive than we really are. The idea of having
an open handicapping day is to show people, including our members,
that they have nothing to fear from the process. It is just like a
bad haircut," says Grand Master Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson, "In two weeks
time, who cares?"
Fatcatsson, the man
charged with leading the club into the new millennium, has forwarded
to the King Poobahs (the Club's Board of Directors) a petition
signed by a quorum of members to:
Increase the
number and duration of tournaments,
Offer members
better facilities, and controversially,
Give loose
women greater access to club social functions.
The Poobahs believe
all three motions are within the spiritual, ethical and moral
standards of good Club governance, and they will be voted on
at the next Annual General Meeting.
This story is factional. All names have been
changed to protect the guilty.© Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club - All Rights Reserved
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